Mothering Myself

In a society preoccupied with how best to raise a child

I’m finding a need to mesh what’s best for my children with what’s necessary for a well-balanced mother.

I’m recognising that ceaseless giving translates into giving yourself away

And, when you give yourself away, you’re not a healthy mother and you’re not a healthy self

 

So, now I’m learning to be a woman first and a mother second.

I’m learning to just experience my own emotions

Without robbing my children of their individual dignity by feeling their emotions too.

I’m learning that a healthy child will have his own set of emotions and characteristics that are his alone.

And, very different from mine.

I’m learning the importance of honest exchanges of feelings because pretences don’t fool children,

They know their mother better than she knows herself.

 

I’m learning that no one overcomes her past unless she confronts it.

Otherwise her children will absorb exactly what she’s attempting to overcome.

I’m learning that words of wisdom fall on deaf ears if my actions contradict my deeds.

Children tend to better impersonators than listeners.

I’m learning that life is meant to be filled with as much sadness and pain as happiness and pleasure.

And allowing ourselves to feel everything life has to offer is an indicator of fulfilment.

I’m learning that fulfilment can’t be attained through giving myself away.

But, through giving to myself and sharing with others,

I’m learning that the best way to teach my children to live a fulfilling life is not by sacrificing my life.

It’s through living a fulfilling life myself.

I’m trying to teach my children that I have a lot to learn

Because I’m learning that letting go of them

Is the best way of holding on.

(Anon)

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